Confident Communication

The DESC technique.

This is useful technique for dealing with difficult situations and enabling you to become more adept in expressing yourself confidently.
DESC means Describe, Express Specify and Consequences. The techniques is most effective when combined with 'I' statements that avoid blaming others. Use of the DESC formula is especially practical in situations such as when a friend keeps cancelling your tennis games at the last minute for no good reason.

• Describe. Be specific and focus on the problem. State the fact without being emotional. 'When you keep cancelling our tennis game at the last minute...'

• Express. Let the other person feel how important the issue is to you. Use ' 'I' messages so it is clear that you are not blaming him or her.  '.... I feel let down and upset.'

• Specify. Be specific and firm in one or two sentences. State your wants or preferences, not commands. 'I would like you to let me know well in advance if you are going to cancel the game.'

• Consequences. Clarify the position or negative consequences of your request. 'If you don't let me know in advance I think we should stop playing together.' or, 'If you do let me know in advance, it gives me time to find another partner.'